Borderline Personality Disorder

Splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD) I was unfamiliar with until recently despite having been diagnosed in 2015. Splitting is a coping defense mechanism people with BPD use to avoid rejection or being hurt. It means that someone is either good or they are bad. There are no good people who make mistakes. There are no bad people who …

When we fall, we fall hard. Nothing we do is soft, graceful nor classy. Rather it is hard, tough, uncouth, aggressive love. It is a love that is driven. Driven by pain, by the unabating desire to “get it right.” Through fear of failure, we push those we love to the point of panic. They question, “Will anything ever be …

This is a question I think about quite frequently, especially when I am putting myself out there on my social media; I often wonder what some of the people on my friends’ list might think. It’s fairly obvious from a quick Google search that the results are pretty grim, or they may have “Girl, Interrupted” in their minds. Either way, …

“You’re so manipulative.” I hear that word all the time: manipulative. I see it splattered across the posts in borderline personality disorder (BPD) social media groups, and people paint it all over BPD-related articles that make it to mainstream websites. It’s like people completely ignore the actual name of our diagnosis and use the word “manipulative” as a common synonym. Here’s the …

I can’t stop thinking. I never have. It comes hard and fast, each thought coated by the very poison I seek to escape from. Alas, there is no respite. No reprieve. Each thought that invades my psyche threatens to topple my sanity, to embroil my mind in the deep, dark toxins that are my own pain. You are not enough. …

While there’s nothing funny about living with borderline personality disorder (BPD), sometimes people use humor to share how they’re feeling in a funny and relatable way. Sometimes humor can be used to broach a serious topic you otherwise wouldn’t know how to talk about. Sometimes, sending a relatable mental health meme to a friend can bring a smile to their face when …

One symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD) I dismissed very quickly as having nothing to do with me was depersonalization. I briefly read about it, decided that had never happened to me and moved on. It was irrelevant, one of those symptoms that meant nothing. Until a friend told me about her own depersonalization episode and I realized all of a …

British comedian Joe Tracini has lifted the veil on borderline personality disorder (BPD) in a way I’ve never seen before. His extremely unique blend of comedy and hard-hitting content left me feeling inspired but also slightly triggered. I related to his story and his various descriptions of BPD far more than I expected.  Joe has been on the acting scene in the UK for …

Thank you. Truth is that is the only thing I can do. I thank you for being a part of my life for the time that you were there, and I thank you for leaving and making me a stronger person. Yes, it is one of the hardest parts of living with a mental illness, constantly seeing people walk out …

My body sits uncomfortably in a cheap plastic chair while my consciousness soars throughout the abyss that is my mind. I am trying to imagine myself anywhere but here — anywhere that isn’t the hospital. I close my eyes and try to picture my happy place for a moment, and then I remember I’m depressed and I don’t have a …