Narcissists may come off as loving, charming people with good intentions. They may beguile you with their good looks and mellow words.
In case you haven’t been introduced to narcissists’ ways of treating people, we suggest you read this list to check if you have one that is roaming your life freely and with no remorse. Unfortunately, chances are, you do have a narcissist in your life already or you have had one previously–so read on. Knowledge is the bread and butter of awareness and prevention.
1. Narcissists indulge in the exercise of power. They are often referred to as megalomaniacs because of that. They enjoy leading positions and condescending, extremely patronizing and superior behavior.
2. They think they are the center of the world. If you have a friend, a coworker, or a partner that enjoys talking about themselves most of the time, then you are probably dealing with a narcissist. They “listen” when the other person is talking, but they are not really paying attention. They quietly nod while you are talking and patiently wait to steer the conversation in their direction and somehow make it about them. Again.
3. They are sharp-tongued and make impressive statements. You can often hear a narcissist say: I deserve a promotion; I am at the top of my game; I am the love of his / her life; They can never love anyone else as they loved me.
4. They cheat and lie about it. Narcissists lack sexual empathy; they want to be worshiped and complimented on how good they are in bed or how good-looking they are. Therefore, having many sexual partners while being in a relationship is normal to them.
5. They are champions at manipulating. In order to get what they want, they will play all sorts of mind games with you. If they want some personal validation, they are going to use many tactics to get that from you. A compliment, a reassurance that they are wonderful and exceptional, another thank you for everything they have done for you so far…you name it.
On the other hand, if we are talking about a more introverted narcissist, watch out for seeming reflections of victimhood. They will convince you that they are this good, innocent, human being unable to hurt a fly, let alone a person. They will invoke feelings of pity in you, and you will end up feeling sorry for them while trying to help them every way you possibly can.
As soon as you hear but, get ready – they are going to keep talking until they prove to you that they actually know everything and that their arguments are valid and more insightful than yours.
7. They become distant when you are talking about something that does not interest them. If they are passionate about some topic, they can be the only one talking for hours while having full attention in the room. However, if a topic seems boring to them, they are just going to shut down and (with distant eyes) nod occasionally.
8. They are extremists in the sense that they have no boundaries and they like to break the rules. Social conduct, no sexual indications at work…they break all the norms they come across for the mere entertainment of it all. They like to be perceived as non-conformists, as eccentric, when, in fact, all of that is just entertaining to them.
9. They have their own idol. This stems from their childhood. They have a person they idealize and they like to follow in that person’s footsteps. To them, that person is perfect, and they aspire to them. Often, that may not even be a person. It can be a status, a title. They cannot be happy until they get that “trophy” in their lives, even if it means using a network of manipulations, mind games, and lies.
Narcissists cannot be defined as anything else but toxic. They envy your happiness, they suck your energy, they put themselves on a pedestal and diminish all of your achievements just because theirs, somehow sound more grandiose.