We have to deal with people on a day by day basis. Some of those individuals are easy to get along with and we may even find it pleasant to be around them. If you have to deal with an extreme narcissist, however, you may find that life can be quite difficult. In fact, they may even make it hard for you to get up in the morning if you have to deal with them at work or perhaps in your home life. Being able to identify an extreme narcissist can help you to adjust where necessary to deal with the problem effectively.
When you are dealing with an extreme narcissist, you are dealing with somebody who is completely lacking in empathy. Empathy has often been described as feeling somebody else’s pain in your heart. In other words, they have such an air of superiority that they don’t bother feeling what others are feeling. They separate themselves and that makes them incapable of love. They may have a pretend love but it is not genuine.
A person who is an extreme narcissist may enjoy having somebody else do things for them but they don’t have a meaningful attachment to that individual. In their eyes, you and everybody else is expendable. They choose their associates according to their needs at that particular time and if you are in a personal relationship with such a person, you may never experience true love.
It is what goes on under the surface that often surprises most people. A person who is a narcissist actually may feel insecure or inadequate about their own abilities. They tend to be overly sensitive and it is easy to offend them by what you say or do. They tend to attach themselves to people who will do anything to bow to their wishes.
They crave the admiration of others. If you were to challenge or question them in any way, they would probably lose control. That is why the spouse of a narcissist must also coddle to their every whim and they would never consider making them feel bad about themselves.
If they have a degree of wealth or power, they will look for a spouse who elevates their position in the eyes of others. They do this to boost their ego, which is fragile to start with. They want a spouse who will give them an advantage in their business or social relationships. The person they marry will be attractive, well-connected or wealthy but if they are all three, they are something the extreme narcissist seeks out.
Unfortunately for the spouse of a narcissist, they also tend to be in a throwaway relationship. They will go from one spouse to another in order to get what they need at that particular time. If you find yourself in such a relationship, you shouldn’t be overly comfortable in your position. Unless you’re willing to put up with everything that they throw your way, it is unlikely that the relationship will last.
When people look at what the narcissist is on the surface, they may see somebody who is charming but when you see behind the scenes, you recognize the ugly truth. They want a lot of praise and recognition for themselves so they will seek out those who will speak highly of them in front of others.
The problem is, they don’t see a need to be pleasant to their spouse when they are in private. They already have the situation they want so the spouse will likely be neglected or perhaps even abused.
Two type of people typically marry an extreme narcissist; a people pleaser or somebody who is also a narcissist. They sometimes marry each other to exploit each other in a mutually beneficial way. They both understand that there is no life to the arrangement but they consider it to be more like a business transaction. It is lacking in intimacy and meaning. They are just both going toward their own, selfish goals.
When two narcissists become attached to each other in this way, it may be to have an elevated lifestyle or an increased popularity. They will seek out social status, fame and influence among their peers. In order to achieve this, they will use all of their available resources.
This type of relationship can be seen when somebody heavily involved in social media or a musician marries somebody who is politically powerful.
When there is an imbalance in extreme levels of narcissism within the relationship, it can be explosive. One tends to push back against the other and troubles are very common. The marriage will only likely last if both spouses are trying to achieve specific goals. It is the egos, however, that sometimes get in the way.
Perhaps the biggest problems can be seen when narcissists in such a relationship get angry at each other. They will constantly fire angry missiles back and forth, causing as much damage as possible.
On the other hand, when a people pleaser marries a narcissist, it is somebody who was looking for love in a relationship. More specifically, they are looking for validation. They try to feel better about themselves by being nice to somebody that doesn’t respond. Unfortunately, those people pleasers tend to attract extreme narcissists and the opposite is also true.
When this occurs, the narcissist will simply use up the people pleaser and then move on to the next option. It can lead to extreme mental fatigue for the people pleaser and a very sad end to the relationship. In fact, those marriages don’t typically end well and the narcissist will likely exploit them to get what they want.
When two narcissists marry, nobody really cares who is hurt in the relationship. The same is not true, however, when there is somebody with a tender heart in the relationship. If you find yourself in such a situation, you need to be careful about your attractions.
Don’t find yourself in a situation where you are unhappily married and an extreme narcissist is dominating you. When they are incapable of seeing the beauty in you or loving you as an individual, it can be very difficult to enjoy life.