One of the most powerful things you can do for someone in need is to help them remember they are not alone.
Whenever someone is feeling suicidal, showing support to them can be the lifeline they didn’t know they needed during their most trying times. But let’s be real, it can be hard to put together words you think your friend or loved one might want to hear. To you, words might seem empty, or pale in comparison to the gravity of the storm of emotions your friend might feel in their darkest moments. But to someone living with borderline personality disorder (BPD) struggling with suicidal thoughts, a text can often mean the difference between feeling worthless and realizing they are indeed worth it.
So that 30-second text you’re thinking of sending can actually mean the world to your friend. For the times where you want to be there but don’t really know where to begin, we have some text examples for you! We asked members of our BPD community to fill us in on the words they like to hear most when they’re feeling suicidal.
Here’s what they had to say:
1. “You matter to me.”
2. “People need you. You are loved and you are not alone.”
3. “You are stronger than you think. Pull deep for that strength.”
4. “My world would be nothing without you.”
5. “I love you and want you in my life.”
6. “Even if it seems small to others, I can understand it’s big for you. You are doing your best and I am here to listen.”
7. “You being around is good for me and not hurting me.”
8. “You make me happy as a person.”
9. “I value you.”
10. “I’m here for you.”
11. “We’re in this together. We will get through this.”
12. “I’ll be with you the entire time.”
13. “You may not know it, you may not see it, but you make a difference in this world that cannot be replaced.”
14. “You’re here for a reason. I need you in my life.”
15. “You’re important.”
16. “You are lovable, even in your darkest moments.”
17. “I promise you’ll be OK. We just have to make it through the next second, the next minute, then the next hour.”
18. “Do you want me to come over?”
19. “You have this, it’s not over yet. You are the little engine that could.”
If you’re struggling to find the words to say to your friend with BPD who’s feeling suicidal, you’re not alone. It can be difficult to put into words what someone’s presence in your world might mean to you. The most important thing in these trying times is to remind your friend or loved one of their worth and to help them feel like you — less alone. Finding the right words to say is half the battle. Now all you have to do is press “send.”
If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources.
If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741741.